Back in about 1980 or so, I went water skiing with some good friends of mine (the McConnells) on Lake Piru (which is near Ventura).
At night, around the campfire, I was doing my best Mac Davis (remember how he used to make up songs on the spot on his TV show? I love Mac Davis! - met him at LAX once, but I digress!). I had an injury to my toe and somebody asked me, "what happened?" . . . I improvised a good part of this song at the campfire to answer that question. Finished it up when I got home.
"And that's just what happened on Lake PIru!"
- Jeffrey Scott Stewart
THE BALLAD OF LAKE PIRU
Well I'd done ten laps around Lake Piru, I was thinkin' about the next trick I'd do,
When it comes to water skiing, I'm a champ
Well I was doin' tricks with one eye closed, and one hand holdin' my precious nose,
The water was sprayin' but I wasn't even damp
Well I thought I saw some kind of fin, So I blinked my eyes but I saw it again,
And before I could holler "shark!" he bit my toe
Well I reached and grabbed that shark by the tail, Now my face was gettin' mighty pale,
But I knew in my heart that I wasn't about to let go
Well we dragged that shark right across the lake, And believe you me I was wide awake,
'Cause this wasn't exactly the trick I'd planned to do
Then some smart aleck in a hot rod boat, Came by close just to get my goat
And I'll be danged if he didn't cut that shark in two
Now I was holdin' the tail with all my might, But the load I was pullin' got kind of light,
So I looked back just to see what I might find
Well I called to the captain "More throttle, please!", 'Cause that shark was gettin' close to my skis,
And I think I know just what he had in mind
Well the boat took off with a sudden burst, And I don't know how but I got there first,
I was sittin' on the dock, sippin' on an ice cold beer
Well my legs were fine, and my tummy was fine, And my arms were fine, and my nose was fine
But wait a minute . . . where's my left ear!?!!
Well I hollered out to Captain Jack, "Captain, can you take me back?"
'Cause that gall-derned shark got a piece of my bod'
Well the Captain kind of snickered, but he started the boat, And just as we were gettin' ready to go
I reached out and grabbed some old man's fishin' rod
Well the shark saw me comin' and he opened his mouth, But I took one swing and I punched him out,
And I shoved that fishin' rod between that sucker's teeth
Well I climbed inside and it was kind of dark, And in case you've never been inside of a shark,
It's kind of hard decidin' where to put your feet
Well I threw out so many pieces of junk, It's a wonder that that shark hadn't sunk,
I guess it was all the empty bottles that had him saved
Well I was callin' my name and I finally heard, Through my own little ear underneath a dead bird,
I picked it up, put it on, and I was on my way
My friends I'm tellin' the truth to you, That's just what happened on Lake Piru
And I ain't a man to stretch the truth . . . Well . . . maybe just a little bit
Written by Jeffrey Scott Stewart
Copyright Blue Clover Music (ASCAP)
from Ventura Sunset
released May 10, 2020
No Recording Available Yet.
all rights reserved